kimiko

these were taken in 2006



i decided to post happy photos.

the oncologist called tonight. i am trying to absorb all of the info she gave me tonight. i like her. she has 4 cats and talked to me in a way that i could understand everything. it is still so much info and i have to make a decision on what is best for kimiko.

i want to make the right decision. is there really a decision to make? how could i not want to help her overcome this disease? i don't think well if i am blubbering and boo hooing all over the place. i need to think clearly and with a happy heart. hence the happy photos. well, as happy as i can muster right now.

this type of cancer is very slow progressing. it is also the most common type of cancer in older cats. it is called low grade intestinal lymphoma b/c it is slow to grow. due to the slow growth, it responds well to chemo (in the form of pills) and can be administered at home. a single pill would be taken once every three days or 10 times a month. the specialist that did the initial diagnoses on kimiko was a co-author on the article about low grade intestinal lymphoma.

i ask the oncologist if she knew how much the chemo pills would cost and she looked it up online at a site she uses and it was about $4 a pill - so about $40 a month (if my pharmacy sells it for that price). then kimiko would have to have blood work (maybe $75+ each time) about once a month for a couple of months then every 6-8 weeks depending on how things progressed.

the biggest concern right now is getting her to gain weight. i gave her 1/4 of a 15mg tablet of mertazapine last night. mertazapine is an appetite stimulant. this morning she was meowing to be fed. she ate almost a 2oz. serving of stinky goodness. 2 ounces usually lasts all day so this was a huge amount for her to have eaten at one sitting. it did take her about 40 minutes to eat it all.

i had to come by my house this morning about 10am or so and kimiko ate a few bites of chicken sandwich meat. but she has refused any stinky goodness tonight and only ate a few bites of ham sandwich meat. i gave her the prednisone (10mg once a day) and i will have to see what happens by the morning. she is not laying nearby like she has been lately. i am wondering if she is past the point of no return. i am not ready but she may be. not sure if i can handle it. just not sure.

if i am to start the chemo i need to do so very soon. i can call the vet in the morning and he will call it in to a nearby pharmacy. i wonder if it is too late. would i be trying to save her to keep from losing her right now (postponing the inevitable) or will she continue to keep me wondering with these good mornings and bad evenings?

my heart is heavy, my body tired and my mind is twirling around in circles. i think i shall say my prayers and try to get some sleep.

please keep kimiko in your prayers and send lots of purrs her way. she needs them now more than ever


**UPDATE**: i called the vet this morning and we are going to start the chemo tonight. kimiko ate well this morning but i am waiting to see if she will do like she did yesterday and not eat much the rest of the day. if she starts to gain/maintain weight then she has a chance at living comfortably .